I met Rob in the late 70’s or very early 80’s at Harvard University’s Development Office and again later at a Young Audiences Gala. It was then we hit it off and began to meet up regularly in Boston, the Museum of Fine Arts, theatre, concerts, films, exhibitions, and in Cambridge, Rockport, Salem at Peabody Essex Museum and at his beloved Folly Point - we had meals, excursions, social events, and lots of discussion on the screened porch or in front of the fireplace when it was cold. In the summers, before dinner we’d swim at a friend’s quarry in the late afternoons in clear, deep, sun- warmed water. He would swim fast, I was slow, floating - both savoring the tranquil beauty.
Rob was a rare friend and a unique man with whom I shared an admiration for sustained curiosity, creativity, informed discussion, and grit in our approach to life. We also liked a bit of naughtiness in people, in ourselves- that’s certainly a part of why we were excellent pals for over 40 years. He was the older brother I never had — mentor, teacher & co-adventurer. He introduced me to new aspects of art and music - ways of seeing, ways of listening. He introduced me to his engaging friends, lovers, and family.
We helped each other through the dark places in our lives. We laughed at our foibles and celebrated successes. One time he was in a creative writing mode and I said “ write me a poem!” He laughed and then he did, a clever piece lambasting me for making such an outlandish demand.
When Rob recovered with keen determination from that first stroke, he felt he’d like to try traveling. We flew to Sante Fe to see an old friend of his and her husband. It was a tiring trip and at that altitude he needed oxygen once a day for half an hour. Nevertheless he was determined to absorb the Sante Fe experience in every way, including purchasing the colorful sculptures he installed on his Gloucester deck overlooking the sea. One afternoon our hostess asked if he’d like to go to Taos, he calmly replied in the negative - “if you’ve seen one Pueblo house you’ve seen them all”. I found his authenticity refreshing, he knew his mind.
There is no doubt Rob had a zest for life - a talented artist in a wide range of disciplines, he found unique ways to express himself, my favorite was his sculpture and I admired the engineering skills he learned to make them so perfect. He loved music, loved it - classic, modern, contemporary, 80s rock, early and late jazz. It was with gusto that he began to seek out composers of works he thought exciting, and commissioned some wildly talented men and women to write new pieces.
Rob was a precious friend, and despite difficult times; it was a remarkable journey he invented for himself. I am grateful he invited me to join him for part of it.
Mary K Eliot
Cambridge, MA
